Crème brûlée

Did I say cheese crackers next time? Ha ha, no. Well. I lied. Sorry. Instead let's try something fancy.




Don't let the fancy French name fool you. Or the e with a grave accent, or the other e with the acute accent, or the U with a hat*.  Crème brûlée is actually real easy to make. There aren't very many ingredients involved, and chances are you probably already have all the stuff you would need to make it in your fridge right now. In fact, if Crème brûlée were called Gebrannte Creme or just plain ol' Burnt Cream, it would not seem nearly so intimidating. Also, you don't really need a blow torch to make the tops. If you have an oven with a broiler, you can make the tops of the Crème brûlée.  
  
Right-o, let's make burnt cream! 

SOURCE: For this, I fused two recipes. One was a Carnation brand milk recipe that I got from an ad in a magazine. The other was this recipe here: http://whatscookingamerica.net/CremeBrulee.htm


YOU WILL NEED!

• 6, 6-oz Ramekins (little oven-friendly dishes. I bought some special for my first foray into the Creme of Brulee, but we use them for so many other things: ice cream dishes. Candy dishes. Cheez-it dishes. Something to hold loose cough drops in. The possibilities are endless.) Make double super sure your ramekins are oven safe!

• Something to separate egg yolks from their egg whites. (If you know how to do this without using a special separator dealie...good for you. I am not nearly as cool as that.)  

• A whisk (or a fancy electric handheld mixer, which I still lack...I tried finding our old one but, alas, I could not).

• Mixing bowls, of course. You'll also need a pan to boil water.

• A 13 by 9 inch glass cake pan.

• A strainer. Not absolutely, you-must-have-it necessary, but you'll be able to have smoother looking cream if you use one. Also, a spatula to scrape the cream mix out of the bowls and stuff.

• Patience. Lots of it. Seriously, in order for your Cream of Burnt to turn out good, they will need to be in the fridge for over 24 hours. So plan ahead. If it's Friday morning, tell yourself you will have Burnt of Creme Saturday night.

INGREDIENTS!

• 6 Egg Yolks

• 6 Tablespoons of sugar

• 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

• Vanilla extract. Depending on how vanilla-ie you want it, you can put in as much or as little as you like. I put in 1 teaspoon plus a bit extra. 

• Extra sugar, or brown sugar, or a mixture of regular granulated sugar and brown sugar for the tops. Again, depending on how much you want. I tend to put about a tablespoon of sugar for each ramekin of  cream.

•  Butter, to coat the inside of the ramekins.

INSTRUCTIONS!

 First off, pre-heat your oven to about 285. Depending on how well your oven works. I put mine at 285 because ours does not heat up all that quickly. Or well. I've seen recipes calling for anywhere between 275 and 325. 

1. Separate your egg yolks from your eggs, letting the egg white run off into a spare bowl. I use the separator, but if you can do it with just the egg shell, fine. Showoff. Anyway, that takes a while if you're as inept as I am, and you'll get egg-goo all over your hands. Once you're done, wash your hands cuz they're probably covered in goo. Once that's done, do what you will with the egg white. Maybe you're more talented than I and can use them to make meringues, or macarons. If you're not that talented (and lack a cool hand-mixer to make proper meringues), you could always do what I do: pour the egg white into a spare plastic grocery bag (checking to make sure there's no holes in it first), tie it off, then throw it into the trash, and hope your germaphobic housemates (parents) just think it's a cat litter bag which is a lot worse than a bag full of egg white, but don't ask me how the minds of germaphobes work.

2. Whisk your egg yolks together until they thicken a bit. Then add the sugar, bit by bit, while mixing the egg. Mix til all the sugar has dissolved.

3. Add in the heavy cream and vanilla extract and mix together until nicely blended.

4. Put a pan full of water on the stove to boil. Or the tea kettle. Or an electric kettle if you still have one, and you didn't give  the nice one you got for college to one of your siblings cuz they apparently needed it more than you. Sigh. I'll get you back one day, kettle. Butter the insides of your ramekins while you wait for the water to boil. Arrange the ramekins in the 13x9 cake pan.

5. If you have a strainer, strain the egg-sugar-cream-vanilla mixture into another bowl before pouring it into the ramekins. If not, pour the mixture into the ramekins. Try to distribute it evenly - fill them up to about...eh, mostly full.

6. Once you've got your water boiling, pour said boiling water into the cake pan, making double sure you fill up til the water comes halfway up the sides of your ramekins. This is important. For some reason. But make sure you do it.

 7. Bake for anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour. You want them to cook until the centers are just set. They'll still be a little jiggly though. You want them to sort of have the consistency to jello-pudding. You'll have to play it by ear and keep checking. I keep mine in even if the tops start to brown a little. It's not the end of the world if they do.

8. Once you've determined the done-ness of your as-of-yet-unburnt creams, take them out of the oven, and let them sit in their cake-pan and water til it cools to room temperature. This takes about an hour. Be sure to keep a watchful eye out for the cat, but other than that, go watch some tv or read some more Game of Thrones. Or watch some Game of Thrones. Even better.

9. Once they're cooled, take them out of their bath, put them all on a plate, cover it in plastic wrap, and put it in the fridge. Congratulations, you're halfway done! Now, wait at least 24 hours before making the tops. So...go to bed, get up, go to work, come home, clean the cat boxes, watch Brian Williams, eat dinner, then wait a bit, then you can take them out and make the tops.

10. Set the oven to broil. Move the oven rack so that it's about 5/6 inches below the broiler.

11.Put about a tablespoon of whatever sugar mix you want on each cream. Put the ramekins onto a cookie sheet, and put that cookie sheet under the broiler. Let them stay under the heat for about five minutes, but keep a watchful eye. It does not take very long for the sugar to caramelize, and even less time after that for it to burn and taste real crappy.

12. Once your tops are complete, take them out of the oven (taking care not to burn your hands off on the broiler. You don't want your hands to end up looking like the side of Sandor Clegane's face. Is it Easter Sunday yet?!).

13. Let the now burnt creams cool off a bit, then put them in the fridge for about 15 minutes or so. Don't leave them in there too long or the tops will turn to mush. Well, the tops will hold their integrity for a while, actually. So...ignore that part. But still, after all that effort, you're not gonna want to wait.

14. Eat burnt creams! Take spoon, and crack the top. Mmm, crunchy. Hopefully your creams will be nice and custardy, and not liquidy as mine are prone to turn out.

THE THREE TIMES I MADE CREME BRULEE AND WHAT HAPPENED WITH IT.

So, I did not succeed in my first attempt at  Crème brûlée. It took some time and modifying before I got it right. The above instructions are what I generally use and it generally works, but even now and then I make a mistake and they come out wrong. Most commonly the problem is I did not leave them in the oven long enough or refrigerate them long enough. But here are my various attempts:

Experiment 1: Used the Carnation recipe. Left the egg yolks in. The bottom part turned out all...solid and weird. My mom claimed it tasted good, but I am not sure as to her honesty in this regard. The tops turned out liquidy, because I had not, at this point, figured out how to use the broiler (fun fact: all you do on my oven is press "broil" and then "start". Real complicated process there).

Experiment 2: Figured out how to use the broiler. Used the What's Cooking America recipe with heavy whipping cream. Followed it to the letter. Used the broiler to make the tops. When they were done the tops were perfect. I was super excited. Cracked the top and the Creme itself was pure liquid. Not creamy or custard-y at all. My parents were convinced I was trying to poison them. I swear off Crème brûlée making forever.

Experiment 3: I do everything I did before, but I leave the custards in the oven for a lot longer at a hotter temperature. Leave them in the fridge overnight for well over 24 hours. Then  I make the tops with the broiler. After putting the cremes in the fridge to cool I am super nervous. Will they turn out right? Or will everyone think I'm trying to poison them again?

They turn out perfect. And there was much rejoicing.

Yaaaaaay.

LAST MADE: couple weeks ago.

RESULTS: Slightly watery, but still delicious.

INJURIES: None. Hurray!

FOR NEXT TIME: maybe add some sort of chocolate or flavoring? Suggestions?

*the hat is called a circumflex. Or at least in English it is. I spent too much time learning languages.